


Things You Said

by AlternativeRocker



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/M, One Shot Collection, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 15,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlternativeRocker/pseuds/AlternativeRocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of Ric and Serena one shots. Varying themes, feelings and points in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When You Were Drunk

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [tumblr prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/124524) by xfactorera. 



It would have been her wedding anniversary and although she was over her ex-husband she had dragged Ric along to Albie's so that she'd have company as she drank. She was still glad her marriage was over but the thought of having failed at it got under her skin.

They had been sitting on the stools at the side of the bar but those had grown uncomfortable quickly so they had moved to one of the corners. Looking across the table, she admitted, "I wish you and I had met thirty years ago."

"No you don't." Ric was unsure how many glasses ahead of him she was as whenever he went to the toilet she went to the bar again. She could handle her drink though for the most part and at least she had sense not to do it alone.

"I do. I wouldn't have married Edward and I could have had a life less controlled by someone." Until recently that was all her life had consisted of - even once they were apart she still thought of him at all opportunities in case he was nearby or could hurt her again. Then she had went and let her guard down so he could worm his way back in and had almost persuaded her to put her career on the line for him.

"Serena, you never knew me at my worst - most of my life has been a mess. You would have needed a better friend."

She sharply bit back, "I am not talking about it as bloody friendship! Do you think living with an alcoholic was any better than your problems, you have no idea how bad it was some days." There had not been cause to vent about Edward in a long while and Ric was the only one who she cared to let hear it. She was being more flirtatious than usual but he weighed that up against the fact she had downed more than he had seen before.

"What about Eleanor, can you imagine not having her?"

She glared and shook her head, he knew her weak points and Eleanor was her greatest achievement. It had taken ages for her to realise that because she had went straight back to work as soon as she was able but they were close now.

"You deserved better than him but he did give you her, and maybe if you had not avoided him after the divorce then you would never have waltzed into Holby and found me to annoy. We were completely different people years ago and I think one of us would have killed the other within days."

"I fancied you the first time we met by the way." Serena commented, finishing the glass that she had in front of her.

"I can't say I felt the same but thanks anyway," he said with a laugh, knowing she probably would forget what she had said in the morning, "I think we should get you home."

With a wink she asked, "Are you coming back with me?" 

Helping her put her jacket on Ric replied, "I'll make sure you get inside but that's it, then I leave you to suffer the hangover tomorrow."

"Spoil sport, we could be good together." Her words slightly merged into the next and it took him a second to unscramble the message as she smiled lazily at him.

The wine was finally hitting him as he chose to play along with her, "I assume we would need wine on tap to keep us in this nice lull with each other."

"Maybe just a house made of wine... Oh, now that sounds heavenly, I wonder if they would give me different colours for different rooms and moods," He watched her in amusement as she continued down this line of conversation for even longer. She didn't have a clue that she was saying this out loud which made it increasingly easier to drift in and out of her decision about which country's red would work in the bedroom.

To anyone else - who didn't know they had spent three hours drinking and complaining about multiple divorces - it sounded as though they were discussing paint colours for rooms. Strangers would never know that the actual conversation was more suited to them because, when it came to redecoration for their office, he had no choice in the matter and didn't mind.


	2. That I Wasn't Meant to Hear

Serena was about to push the kitchen door open but heard the familiar voices of Ric and Eleanor on the other side and decided to find out how well they were getting on. It wasn't spying, it was interest about the people she cared for.

"I bought a ring for her but I do not have a clue what her answer will be." At that precise second as she heard her partner admit this, Serena regretted not entering straight away before this conversation had occurred.

"You mean you're thinking of..."

"Proposing, yes, I want to be married to her."

"Why don't you discuss it with her?"

"Talking marriages with your mother simply ends in her mocking the number I've had and complaints about her one. I can't manage to get her serious on the matter."

Serena pressed herself tighter against the wall, wishing she could sink to the ground. This was more unexpected than them actually being in a content relationship. She hadn't considered he might be thinking of wedding bells although it was the next logical step after living together. Obviously the future had crossed her mind and in those fantasies, yes, they had got hitched but hearing the words from his lips was a shock.

"So you want me to find out how she would react to such an occasion?" She could sense from her daughter's tone that she was grinning at this plan. Eleanor would not agree but she enjoyed meddling in lives, especially Serena's, and she was a romantic at heart.

"If you don't mind. I can't thank you enough." Serena heard movement from the other side of the door so quickly rushed into their downstairs toilet.

Thankfully for her Ric had to leave for work so a quick kiss was sufficient enough without broaching what was flooding her mind, and Eleanor was meeting with her childhood best friends allowing Serena to have the house all to herself for the day. She had no idea what she was going to decide upon during this time.

~~~~

It was late that evening when she joined him in the living room after he got back. He was still standing after turning the news channel on and was going to reach out to touch her when she interrupted, "I heard you talking with Ellie this afternoon." It came out slightly more abrupt than planned but she even with spending the day with only her thoughts she was not fully aware of what she was doing.

"Ah." He walked around the room, not daring to say any more or looking at what her expression would tell.

"Why didn't you just say it plainly to me: 'Serena, I'm thinking of asking you to marry me, what do you think'?" He could hear the frustration edging through her voice so stopped pacing and stood opposite her.

"Because if you answered negatively then there would always be some tension between us. Ultimately we would be wanting different things and probably it would be too much to overcome. I could have dealt with being the only one to know we are on alternate pages."

"You are very cynical when it comes to me and is, you always have been." A small smile broke through her cool exterior whilst sitting down on the sofa.

He looked across at her with a smirk, "I can bet that you were petrified when you listened in earlier."

"Well, anyone would be, it doesn't take a genius to work that out."

After a pause he finally sat next to her and locked eyes, "And now, after the hours of deliberation you've had?"

Before she spoke, she found his hand and laced their fingers together, "Still mildly terrified at the thought of being stuck with you for the rest of my life but it could be quite exciting."

He narrowed his eyes as the words began to make sense to him, "Are you saying yes?"

"You haven't actually asked yet, and I won't if you suddenly do it now. If I were possibly to agree then I want the full proposal works with expensive food and drink, not leftover chicken and coffee," She said as she gazed down at the meal he had taken from the kitchen.

"I suppose I could think up something should I intend to ask anything."

Serena wasn't sure that she had came to the conclusion she would get excited and be as blatantly accepting of his offer, but as soon as she caught sight of him she knew she wanted nothing else.

"Do I get to see the ring?" She asked, her eyes brightening by the second. Normally she wasn't a huge one for material objects but this was not a routine item of jewellery.

"You screwed that up when you said you want it to be proper so that includes genuine surprise." She dropped her mouth open in fake hurt to which he responded with a laugh and kissed wherever he could on her as she laid down against the cushions and pulled him atop.


	3. After You Kissed Me

The surroundings had faded from their minds and they weren't entirely sure how they had come to be sharing their first kiss. She could vaguely recall him driving her home as her car had packed in and both had joked about how they already acted like a couple without the actual couple part. He had eventually built up the courage to ask her out on a real dinner date which she was taken aback over but willingly accepted. Being the gentleman that he was, he walked her to her front door and somewhere between saying goodbye and him stepping away there had been looks exchanged. A kiss on the cheek was the last coherent thought they could rely on - whether it had been him or her to lean in first would be a hot topic of debate that they had filed away in the back of their brains.

Their lips parted to allow their tongues to brush together, arms cradling the body parts that were touching. Nothing in recent memory had felt quite so intense or pleasurable and neither wanted to break the spell. After their separate turbulent histories with partners they had believed they would happily never have a serious relationship. Both had discounted this potential but now they were mentally - via their physical actions - changing the other's thoughts. Even if it were to not become anything serious or long-term they wanted this.

"Worth the wait?" He asked as his mouth caressed her throat.

The noises of cars passing and the cool breeze were beginning to break through the bubble that only included them but they did not move apart. "Maybe, I don't know what a 4-year wait for a kiss is supposed to feel like. For good luck, we could try again."

This time the contact was much softer yet just as lovely.

Stood on the top step in front of her door, they let the other go and tried to be nonchalant about this entire situation. Rubbing below her bottom lip to remove any lipstick she tried to speak normally as she caught her breath, "Yep, we are definitely not going to wait long before doing that again."

He moved down a stair, intending to go back to his car and replied, "I agree. Tonight however, we make do with what we have done as you need to phone a garage and I shall go home to find a restaurant where we both might be happy." He was trying to not push either of them into this before they had adjusted but he did know he couldn't wait to be with her more.

"We could do that together."

"You just don't trust my judgement do you?" He said with a shake of his head and a smile.

"Well, you don't even want to spend more time with me doing essential things and making important decisions." She was just teasing yet she did want him to stay longer and knew if she continued to wind him up then she would probably win him over.

"This is how it's going to be with us, regardless of not being a couple or possibly being one."

"But if we are a partnership as such, then we can continue to do this even during fights," Serena said matter-of-factly as she draped her arms around him again, pressing their mouths together. She was having a bit too much fun enjoying the feel of him so close but was thrilled that he seemed to be experiencing the same excitement.

Placing his hands on her waist he nodded, "You make a good point there, Ms Campbell, I suppose settling disagreements may be better handled when face to face."

Finally they moved off the street and settled in her office, near enough to give the other playful nudges as she found the number of a car garage that was still open. Meanwhile Ric had her laptop open, showing her menus and trying to decode which of her shrugs, shoulder slaps or glares meant the venue had any fleeting hope.

They didn't have any plans to go to bed together that evening but they would go along with anything that felt right as the night progressed. Ric would prefer to be seen as a wholly respectful date and similarly Serena didn't want to be seen as easy; but they had witnessed the other have a few acquaintances just like that so honestly knew what they were getting into.


	4. With No Space Between Us

Searching for the textbook they knew they had at least one copy of in this room they found themselves in the corner of the office, her back to the window and a filing cabinet to their side. At the bottom of a pile in the top drawer she grabbed what they were looking for and held it out between them so he could see. Although they had encountered this scenario before where she was holding something he needed, they seemed to be a lot closer in countless ways.

They stared at the other for what felt like the rest of time before he quickly leaned in and kissed her. A small moan escaped her lips yet it was not in anger. She did not push him away and started to give back as much as she was getting from the contact.

Their mouths were barely apart as his eyes asked her if they knew what they were doing. After all the times he had misinterpreted moments with women which had ended in complaints or slaps or divorces, he didn't want it to be the same on this occasion.

"Don't stop," she warned quietly, dropping the book somewhere to the ground where one of them would probably trip over it later. Serena knew her impulsive actions had led to some regrettable choices but this was to good to pass.

Within minutes she had pushed the jacket from his shoulders, not intending for them to go any further, only wanting one less layer separating their bodies. His hands were on her waist - under the navy blouse she was wearing - letting his thumbs run along the base of her rib cage.

Ric was entranced by the feel of her pulling him against her, as opposed to most of their history in which they had kept each other far away. The window blinds behind her were closed but anyone on the other side would guess something was amiss because of the movements of the slats as Serena pushed back on them.

There would hopefully be a time for tenderness and romantic gestures at a latter date but for now rough, passionate snogging was exactly what they desired.

Not moving anywhere away from the person in front of them she asked, "Any chance you can put off reading that chapter for a bit longer?" He was doing an operation the following morning that they had been researching more about. This book, according to citations in other articles and sources, may enlighten the certain technique that he had to undertake. Serena was involved only by association of being on the same ward as he had diagnosed the young patient. When he asked about her copy it had made sense to help him.

"We can say we're still trying to find it," he said whilst touching their lips together between words. 

"Yes, we both have quite a lot of baggage, when put together there is little logic," she commented, the effect of her words worked perfectly to bring them even more in touch with the other's thoughts.

Serena deepened the kiss soon after, the office becoming their own sanctuary where they were able to enjoy the sole company of the other. Hidden in these four walls, there was nothing and nobody standing in their way that could antagonise their relationship.


	5. When You Thought I Was Asleep

Serena had went to bed before him as she was early on the rota the following morning but she woke when she heard him opening the spare room door across the landing to put his grandson in to sleep. Ric always forgot how light a sleeper she was and having Jacob stay over made her even more restless, although the kid's habit of staying up late allowed less time to worry.

She heard him a couple of minutes later move around their bedroom whilst undressing before feeling him slide in beside her. His body heat immediately began to warm the untouched half which she was thankful for because even in this summer heat he got annoyed at her stealing the full duvet.

She was barely awake when the silence was broken. "What did I do right in this world to deserve to be with you?" Ric whispered, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen across her face.

"I never thought I would see you allowing a six year old to practise facepainting on your own. That's why I love you - you surprise me every day and okay, maybe they are not always a nice shock but getting to know outside of the hospital has been wonderful."

It took all her willpower not to smile at his words. Neither of them were great at expressing in words what they felt so she was enjoying this admission.

"Night, darling, I'll have to ask you in the morning if you requested the queen bee artwork or if even Jacob picks up on that vibe you give off." He could imagine the glare he was going to receive over that but for now he smirked and kissed her forehead as he settled.

\----

It was a few humid nights later when she found herself wide awake. She had went for a glass of water but then could not get back to sleep so was sitting on her side of the bed, looking down at Ric dreaming.

"I love you. I know I don't say it much but I do." She rubbed her bare legs - not because she was cold in her pyjama shorts but because this was new territory for her, she could talk for hours on topics unless it was about her personal self.

"I don't mean to yell at you when you apologise but I still expect you to simply walk out when I start arguing - I'm not used to someone trying to calm me down." For the first time in their year of living together they had went to bed not talking at all. She was not even sure if she should reach out and touch him at this moment in case he woke up angry.

"Like you said on our night with Jake last week, I don't understand how I deserve you. You only deserve the best and I can't begin to imagine why you would want to put up with my nonsense. Ric, you are the loveliest person I know and could have your pick of women yet you've landed up with me. I love you, remember that, even when I say I can't stand you and your ways, I love you."

As she lay down with her back to him, his arms slid around her waist and he dropped a kiss to the nape of her neck.

"You could have stopped me talking," she mumbled over her shoulder.

"Just as you apparently could have the other night."

"I am sorry about earlier."

"No need. Serena, I've had my share of women and I could probably be with someone else but I pick you. I don't care about our every-once-in-a-while arguments as long as we do love each other. You have to tell me when you want to find that person you deserve."

"Ric, I want you and only you. Our adamant belief the other deserves better probably shows how alike we really are and ultimately that we deserve to be together." It was too late/early for this depth of conversation and she could sense herself prattle on but he didn't seem to mind as he held her tight. She placed her hands over his arms on her breastbone and leaned against him, both thinking they may actually get to sleep after this.


	6. At 1am

It was one in the morning and Ric was brushing his teeth after a night shift when he heard her pad across the landing from their bedroom.

Serena wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder, breathing in the smell of toothpaste and the unique scent that was purely him. Looking in the mirror he assumed she had found something wildly exciting on her iPad - probably a financial statement that would send him to sleep instantly - that had distracted her in bed as she looked shattered.

"Happy anniversary," she murmured with her lips against his neck.

"Is that why you are still awake? Serena, you are falling asleep on me, you didn't have to bother."

"It's our first and I wanted to see that little shock on your face at me having remembered." Ric turned around in her hold and laughed at the truth behind the words. Serena relied on him to keep their calendar up to date with birthdays including his own now - she had forgot the year prior and felt awful after even their colleagues remembered - so he had expected embarrassment from her when he gave a gift in the morning.

"And here I was waiting for you to think I was just being nice bringing you breakfast in a few hours."

"I can think of something better we can do to celebrate," she replied as she kissed him and began to unbutton his shirt. Halfway down she paused for a second to hide a yawn behind her hand.

"Serena, we've been married twelve months now but we can still go to sleep then have morning sex."

Running her hands over her his torso and down his arms she pouted a little, "I thought I wasn't allowed morning fun any more."

"Well, tomorrow I don't have somebody giving me a lift five minutes from your trying to drag me back to bed, unlike last time."

"I like our anniversaries already," By this point of her lazy attempt at seduction she had her head on his chest, her eyelids fluttering closed as she felt the drowsiness hit hard.

"Let's get you to bed, my darling wife." He said guiding her with his hands on her hips.


	7. While We Were Driving

"Why did I agree to drive to the other end of the country with Mr I-Must-Stay-5-Miles-per-Hour-Below-the-Limit?" They had not even been in the car two hours when Serena started to lose her cool.

Ric sighed, he had been waiting for this side of her to shine through, "Because even you think that last minute train prices are ludicrous. Neither of us would manage the drive to this conference negotiation alone."

"I wouldn't be going at all if you hadn't got us both in Hanssen's bad books."

They sat in silence for all of about five minutes before she spoke again, "Can I please just take over now? We have insurance that covers if anything were to go wrong."

"No insurance should accept you. The roads deserve better."

"I am a perfectly good driver."

He shook his head in disbelief, The "Tell that to the poor old woman who you blasted the horn at last year when I was with you."

"She was in the wrong lane."

"No she wasn't, you were heading towards the wrong roundabout."

"Why must you always side with the person against me? Are you trying to enlist them into your 'Pensioners Who Hate Serena Campbell' gang?"

"I don't hate you and I am not a pensioner."

"Yet... We won't bloody get there in time at this rate." She grumbled and he couldn't help but smile because of how badly she reacted to the loss of control.

"You are the most impatient person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. We have ages to get there, just enjoy the journey."

After another break in the conversation she opened her mouth again, "By the way if you have a better room in this hotel, we will be swapping."

"Whatever you wish, we're only there for two evenings." He liked nice living quarters but the place they had booked - the only one available at such short notice - was expensive enough for him to assume either room would be acceptable.

It was only in these confined spaces that he noticed how she could not bear to stay quiet. Even if they were in a mood with each other she continued the debate.

"Serena, there is a while to go until the service stations we agreed on, what about if you try and sleep for a bit?" Anything to make it peaceful for the remainder of the time. If she kept this up for any longer he wasn't sure how far they would actually get on this motorway.

"So that you can drop the speed even further?" Inside she didn't mean to snipe more than usual at him but everything about this, from the still-dark wake up to her own car being left behind as Ric picked her up, was not how she had intended to spend this weekend.

"This is the last time I'm going anywhere with you."

"Good, I'll be able to get there about a day sooner," she snapped back while fiddling with the radio channels to take her mind away from the journey.

Had things gone to plan and she had been allowed a free weekend she was all set on asking the man next to him out for a drink. Now she had probably put them back at least a few months and they were still on their way to this hellish meeting.

It didn't quite hit her that a weekend away together could be exactly what they needed.


	8. At the Kitchen Table

"So, about last night..."

"What about it?" Serena barely looked up at him as she asked this nonchalantly. He would normally be reading the newspaper if not working at this time, but this new company had made him turn a classical radio channel on and sit opposite her. She was scrolling through something on her phone as she ate but he didn't mind, her whole being just seemed natural in his house.

"You don't think we should talk about what we do now?"

"Well, if you're thinking a repeat performance of last night it would have to be somewhat toned down because we were surprisingly impressive but I'm feeling the aftermath now," She commented with a quirk of her lips before pausing, "Ric, I am still here - sitting at your kitchen table and eating a bowl of cornflakes - do I seriously have to spell out how content I feel just now?" Rolling her eyes she put another spoonful into her mouth. She could read him like a book, he was wondering if he had disappointed or somehow taken advantage of her.

"You aren't regretting it?"

"No. Are you - because from where I was looking this morning you seemed pleased enough to see me?" She replied, suggestively glancing down his body. He had put on a t-shirt and jeans while she was in his shower, after which she had found a robe to cover herself with for the planned breakfast.

"No, of course not. And nice to know where your mind was as soon as you woke."

"I was making sure you lived up to the memories of yesterday and that I hadn't imagined any aspect."

"Meanwhile I allowed you all the privacy you needed as you did the walk of shame to the bathroom." They both smiled, knowing he had stared just as much from the bed after wrapping a sheet around her.

"Your shampoo is awful by the way. I already want to rewash my hair."

"Even after a lovely night you manage to complain about something."

"I said nothing about the night! You have nothing to worry about in that respect, it was marvellous." She said sheepishly, taking a slice of toast from the rack between them. "I'll put a spare toiletries bag in my handbag from now on in case of sudden seduction again."

"Or you could simply leave it here," It had slipped out before he recognised what he was saying.

"Thinking of seducing me again, are you?" Serena asked while moving to place her bowl in the sink, leaning down on her way back to kiss him deeply, liking the prospect of waking up with this man more than just the once. "I'll have to bring over better coffee too because this isn't right."

"Hey, this is good coffee, you are picky which is the issue."

"I am willing to have sex with you again, I can't be that picky," she said with a grin before he pulled her back for a bruising kiss.


	9. When We Were the Happiest We Ever Were

Serena breathlessly collapsed back on to the pillows. Her knees were shooting pain through the rest of her body after being on top for the better part of a half hour. She knew she should go and have a shower - the culmination of a day of work irritants and dragging her partner straight upstairs to release her frustrations weren't pretty - but she'd rather lay in his arms for a while.

Ric was on his side, gazing back at her as they smiled. No matter how many times they had this intensity of orgasmic intercourse they never believed they had found someone to fit so well with.

Their fingertips danced together as their lips met again. His other hand was just below her hip, travelling slowly to her inner thigh. When their mouths separated he spoke, the reverberation in his chest being felt by her, "You are amazing."

"You aren't too bad yourself," she replied while her fingertip brushed along his jaw, feeling the first patches of stubble presenting on his skin. Their relationship wasn't new but they were yet to escape from the blissful state of their initial coupling.

With the intention of getting out of the bed Serena rested her hand on his stomach - she was always impressed with his toned muscles and enjoyed reminding herself that she had a man who took care of his body. "You could join me in the shower."

She could feel her hair sticking to her forehead and her cheeks being flush after their activities but he looked at her as though she were the beautiful. "Your logic is to get clean after having sex by taking a shower together? Honey, if we've learnt nothing over these six months it's that we take them separately or achieve nothing except a quickie against the tiles. Why don't we stay here for a bit longer and we will not have to waste extra energy on standing as you have your way again?"

"I've never heard you complain about me having my way." She managed to comment as his fingers lightly touched her most intimate parts.

"Only because I know that I can have my turn soon after," he whispered, kissing her throat whilst manoeuvring until he was hovering above. He cupped her breast, allowing his thumb to tease the nipple which caused her to sigh in pleasure. Knowing her as he did, there was a fine line between foreplay and annoying her but he still had a few minutes before crossing it.

Her hands gripped on to his shoulders as they leaned in to touch lips. She moved one of her hands to his lower half to ensure he was ready for another round, not that she had to do more than few strokes. Following those she wrapped her legs around the base of his spine, and positioned him just where she desired him.

As he entered her neither could imagine any way in which they'd be happier than with the other person. They knew this could not possibly continue for ever - either the giddiness or the relationship as a whole would fizzle out - yet they didn't let thoughts such as that enter their mind. These days when they were together everything simply felt like this was what they had been waiting their lives to find.


	10. When You Were Upset

"I thought there was supposed to be back up in case of a power cut." Serena was getting irritable as their office door wouldn't open because of the electronic locks and the lights had turned themselves off. Ric had only went in to grab a pen and folder from her new found quiet hospital retreat. Now they were stuck together.

AAU was closed to patients as it was undergoing some refurbishment so until anyone else realised the two consultants weren't anywhere else nobody was there to help them. There were none of the contractors anywhere on the ward but it was assumed that they were to blame, probably thinking that midnight was an ideal time to play with wires.

"Clearly it is not working. Do you have your phone with you?" He knew he didn't have his but she always had some form of technology to escape the conversation she was supposed to be a part of.

"Somewhere he- ouch!"

He held her yelp accompanied by a loud knock.

"Serena?"

"I'm fine, just hit my head off the desk."

"Is it okay?"

"Yes, yes, it's nothing," He heard her voice catch and instantly concern entered his feelings.

"Are you sure?" From where he was next to the windows he could hear she was low to the ground.

"Not really. I think I've cut it."

"Are you at the corner farthest from the door?"

"Yep."

Feeling his way around the room he finally managed to see a vague outline of her sitting on the floor. He knelt down facing her.

"How bad is the pain?"

"Not really bad but I think I can feel blood."

He watched as she used the back of her hand to rub against her cheek as the other gently covered the injured area. "Are you crying?"

"Well, so would you be if you had just fucking smacked your head." He could sense her glare through the snappy tone she had.

"Don't get annoyed at me. Now, do you feel dizzy?"

"I don't think so but the dark might be masking it."

"If I turn on your laptop it should give me some light to have a look at it."

She muttered, "Pointless - my laptop needs mains supply to do anything, I've been meaning to order a new one."

Sighing, he nudged her leg, "Did you find your phone?"

She rummaged around in her bag until she felt the familiar object. The advantage was that it did have a reasonably big screen so it was quite a good source after she brightened the display and disallowed it from going to sleep.

She sent a quick text to Hanssen to inform him of the ward situation before handing it to Ric. He balanced it on the edge of the desk above them so that both hands were free. She felt him gently sweep some of her hair into a different parting and inspect the scrape.

"It doesn't look hugely deep but there is some blood."

He got himself to his feet and across to the cabinet where he knew there was a first aid kit. When he rejoined her on the floor she smiled, "God, I probably look a state."

Ric used the side of his index finger to wipe away the tears that were still falling every few seconds. It was a tiny gesture but when he didn't move his finger away immediately they caught the other's eye and felt their friendship shift ever so slightly.

With a smile he replied, "You look fine."

He broke the various points of contact as he turned his attention back to her head. Opening a alcohol wipe he cleaned it, happy that the flow seemed to be subsiding almost completely. Not that Serena would agree as she winced at the stinging sensation he was inflicting.

When he was finished she got a compact mirror from her bag and rubbed away the faint mascara trails that were present, but made no attempt to move up to a chair.

"Anything wrong?" He asked, in case she did have something more serious.

"Just a bit of a headache, I don't want to risk standing yet."

"As bad as a hangover?"

She rolled her eyes as she had been waiting for some sort of sarcastic comment after the kindness he had shown. "Depends on the drink involved and duration of consumption. It's kind of like after you're on wine and then a lot of shots in a small time."

"Ah, we can sit here until the lights come back on."

"Thank you."

"No problem, but that's the extent of me being your doctor. You are truly not the easiest of patients."

"So I don't get a lollipop?" She teased with a smirk.

Laughing, he replied, "No chance."

"What about someone to take me home in case I still feel crap?"

He wasn't sure of the clever response so went with what he wanted, "I suppose that doesn't fall under doctor duties."


	11. That Made Me Feel Like Shit

Ric closed the door behind them in their small shared office and looked across to her whilst she sat down, "I hate it when you bring my age into discussions, it's hardly like you are just out of medical school yourself." These feelings had been building in him but it had finally reached his limit on this particular day.

Serena stated at him in surprise and confusion, "I'm messing with you, Ric."

"I know and fine, joke around when we are just ourselves but not in front of the rest of them or worse, patients."

"Lighten up, christ." She shook her head in disbelief and turned to her laptop. Hearing him move around and then sit down himself meant he was going to be here a while too. Trying to tune out his presence she kept her eyes fixed to the screen and put his petulance to the back of her head.

In the past three and a half years they had grown used to how the other worked and how to act if they were sharing an office yet it felt forced today. Normally they would throw suggestions or small talk from time to time but there was nothing. He didn't look angry with her as he typed and he answered anything she did say - although it was monosyllabic. If she were being truthful, it made her go back to how they had been in the early days, when he was never happy in her company and got defensive over any comment she made, whether about him or not.

Serena managed to survive another hour in the awkward silence before she persuaded herself that this was not normal. The tension like this which occasionally fell between them was becoming more obvious as the months passed and increasingly so when it was soon after he returned from his sabbaticals. He had only returned a few days before and they had already had a couple of their usual disagreements but she despised when it got deeper such as this.

She walked across the room and stood next to his chair until he looked up. "Look Ric, I didn't think that what I said would affect you like this. I'm sorry." Secretly she didn't really know why she was apologising, from their first day banter and teasing had been part and parcel of their friendship, but she was losing her willingness to be fighting for ever.

He removed his glasses and sighed. It had not been his plan to treat her like he currently was but sometimes he could not tell where they stood with each other. It was easier to make her out to be an antagonist so then he would not have to consider that he cared for her in any stronger way. "Thank you and I am fine with what you say but recently it's been pretty constant, if not every single time you open your mouth near me. If the rest of the staff - especially the newer ones - hear you do it so often they might think I am past it."

She grinned, it wasn't exactly the expression he would want to see but there was no stopping it. The teasing in her voice returned, "You're worried about your reputation?"

"Yes if I am honest." He admitted, running a hand across his forehead. As much as he knew he was approaching his last years in work he did not need to be made out to be incapable of tasks.

Serena did understand where he was coming from and probably would feel pretty similar in his shoes. "I suppose I could try and calm down a bit." She brushed it off with a roll of her eyes but he could see through her joking and knew she would do as he hoped.

He nodded in gratitude as she returned to her chair and then it suddenly clicked in his brain, "This wouldn't have anything with your birthday being in a couple of weeks would it?"

Letting out a laugh she replied, "No, it's just another day."

"But this is a special one I seem to recall."

"We just ascertained you don't like your senior years being brought up, yet now I am at the other end of it? I could still plan a belated party for your 'special' birthday too." She used her fingers to air quote the word too as her voice rose slightly it pitch.

"Middle age isn't all that bad, Serena, and if you dare have a party I'll go round changing all the banners with a 6 to a 5 and claim you didn't want to make it all about you."

"Stop it, I'm not getting middle-aged! If the population is living longer then really 50 should be classed as young."

"Of course it should," He said with a smile, "What have you planned for the big day?"

"Nothing, I was thinking a quiet night doing old people things."

"Are you taking up knitting?"

"No, my plan was more: sit in Albie's and ultimately fall asleep on my sofa."

"So not very different from several other nights?" They mirrored the smile on their friend's face at his comment, knowing he was toying with her.

"Fancy joining me celebrate in a fortnight, and we can put all this silliness about parties to the side?"

"I'll buy you your first drink as you turn _that_ age."

"That makes me feel like I'm eighteen again and getting a first legal drink, so yes please."

As they continued their work it felt better between them, probably the lightest jovial atmosphere that they had experienced together in a long time, if ever. Serena hoped that Eleanor, or anyone else who knew her upcoming age, would not make her go for a meal or have an event for her because all she really wanted was a quiet night. Ric was the most she believed she could tolerate on that date because at least he knew how to keep her interested with talk and very brief drinking games.


	12. When I Was Crying

Serena reached out to the other side of the bed and couldn't feel the sleeping body that should be next to her. As much as she still was not used to sharing a bed it felt worse when he wasn't there, especially when she knew he was not working the next day.

"Ric?" She sleepily asked when she saw him sitting at the bottom of the the bed. According to their alarm clock it was barely past three o'clock in the morning.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were awake."

"What's wrong?"

"Thinking about yesterday." He had lost a young patient and had been struggling to manage his emotions in the hours since.

"You don't get like this over patients usually."

"This one seems to have knocked me a bit. I'll be fine in a bit." In the darkness with only the streetlights outside casting a faint glow she saw him put a hand to his face. She could hear the control he was trying to use on the voice and his hand moving across the middle of his face, as if getting rid of tears from his eyes.

"Hey, come here," she said, crawling across the bed and putting her arms around his torso. "You tried everything you could."

"He was the same age as Jacob."

"I know," she said, kissing his cheek. She continued to hold him tight, hating that he was feeling this way. They were strong individually and more so together - even before they were dating the other had been their support during personal troubles - so when one was now going through bad times they could ensure their partner coped.

She knew there was no easy way of getting him to feel better but she tried to reassure further, "There was no way he could have survived, regardless of who had been performing the surgery or how quickly the diagnosis was made."

She watched as he wiped away a couple of tears that had fallen to his cheeks. They all had certain trigger cases that made them want to hide and never re-enter the world and this was one of his. "Ric, if you want to talk about it I'm here and if you don't then I'm still going to be here. What happened was shit and it won't go away tomorrow or the next day. We'll both have to discuss it with other people which is not going to be nice but if things get too much then find me and we can do it together."

Ric nodded along with her words as her head rested on his shoulder. The contact they were sharing was intimate in a comforting way, most other nights if they had been in only underwear it would be intimate in a different way but this was special. This was the first occasion since deepening their relationship that one of them was breaking and neither of them expected it to be him doing the crying.

Tracing circles across his skin she kissed him again before speaking softly, "What do you want to eat?"

"Why?"

"I'll go make us a very late night snack, while you take some deep breaths or further get upset, whatever you need. I'll just be downstairs so give me a shout if you want something in particular." Serena knew that waking up when she had was not what he had intended so she decided to give him space. Again, the newness of cohabiting was making this a little strange but she was sure over time they would learn how to handle situations like this.

He grimaced, "But you can't cook."

She dropped her mouth open in shock, "I can so! You never let me."

"Because you can't cook." He smiled at her, he could see how awkward she felt but was amazed that she was trying so hard.

Serena left him for around ten minutes whilst he had a walk around the upper floor followed by splashing his face with water a few times. Living so far from where his grandson was growing up sometimes was harder than it had been with his own children. He made a mental note to video call Australia within the next day or two.

By the time she returned - wearing one of his shirts over her minimal sleepwear - he was feeling more relaxed and was sitting with his back against the headboard.

"I decided it was safer for the both of us if I made toast."

"I love you." He said, running a hand down her cheek and brushing his thumb over her bottom lip.

Covering his hand with her own and laced their fingers together, "Now you are being sappy."

"I mean it."

"And I love you, now though let's get some food into you and then back to bed." She handed him one of the plates.

Squeezing the hand that was still in his he asked, "There is no way I can get ill from your toast making skills, right?"


	13. Through Your Teeth

"Don't touch me," She said with gritted teeth as Ric approached her, "Get her off my ward right now and prepped for that operation." He gave a look to the other staff members to make sure her orders were adhered to before turning around.

He followed her into the consultant's office on AAU, knowing that to let Serena seethe would be dire for all, he would instead take the brunt of it. "I had diagnosed her perfectly, had the theatre room book and oh wait, Ric Griffin has to delay it because she has a totally irrelevant health concern which as it happens we knew all about. Yet somehow it falls back on me when she gets pissed off and decides that I am the one who deserves to be thrown up on."

Shaking his head in disbelief at her he watched while she closed the window blinds. "I saw one of your nurses almost giving her a drip which she is allergic to."

She began to slide the buttons of her navy blouse open as she continued to shout across at him. "Raf was her consultant, you could see he was about to intervene but you saw it as your duty to get there first. If you hadn't swanned in as if you own the bloody place then none of this would have happened."

"I work here also, Serena. And I thought you didn't believe in the patient ownership system." The fact she was now standing in front of him without a top on was not a concern as their eyes were fixed on the other's. She leaned down as she dug around in her bag for the spare top she knew was there somewhere.

"Maybe if you were here more often I would remember that."

"That's not fair."

She let out a harsh laugh, "Life isn't fair. Hey, look at me working here, I get to be Deputy CEO but haven't even got sole leadership of a ward. Explain that to me."

"Serena, you've already taken out and moved your orange shirt three times, it is to the left of your foot at this moment."

She exhaled loudly as she saw he was correct. Only looking at Ric to glare more she covered up, insecurities finally entering her brain about whether he had seen the stretchmarks or less-than-impressive work bra that she wasn't happy about. Serena decided she was beyond her capacity to stay any longer, she knew deep down she had said those things in the heat of the moment and that it wasn't his fault. Yet she still needed away from him right now, she hadn't expected to see him this afternoon never mind taking over the workload.

"Nice to see you too after five months," he muttered under his breath once she was far enough away to not hear.


	14. When You Were Scared

"What's this version of Serena Campbell?" Ric asked, leaning against the bedroom doorframe and watching her apply a different colour of lipstick than what she had on a few minutes prior.

"It's the one who has yet another CEO interview in two hours so don't wind me up."

"You deserve this, everyone knows it. Go in and show them just how good you are."

Looking at herself in the full-length mirror and adjusting her blouse, she sighed, "Why am I doing this to myself?"

He took a step further into their room and wished there was more he could do for her, "Holby needs the best at the helm."

"There is barely any chance of winning this time as I am going in knowing I am already two votes down."

"How do you know that?" He could see in her eyes that it was not just self-doubt, she had reason to believe this.

"There will be two men in there who have been outwardly _interested _in me who haven't actually managed to get me in bed. They therefore aren't best pleased at those stupid rumours about our sex life that won't stop passing through the staff. Seriously, if we were having it off anywhere near the amount they say I wouldn't have the energy to even try for this job."__

"I still say you were the one to start that nonsense during one of your little gossip sessions with Essie Harrison."

"She wouldn't exaggerate that much."

"She wouldn't but would you? If not then we have to accept it is like Chinese Whispers where it is out of our control." Ric knew if he could distract her - even by annoying her - then it would calm her a little about the interview.

"Why does anyone care at all about what we get up to anyway?"

"I'm sorry if our relationship has reduced your chances, I maybe would not have kissed you that night if we knew Hanssen would leave again."

"It wasn't your fault, I'd have kissed you at some point that day if you hadn't." Serena replied, placing her hands on his shoulders - being with him had strengthened her personal life to the point she finally finding her desire for advancement in her career once more.

She would never admit it to her own brain but she would rather be with him these days if given the ultimatum of that or the CEO title. The chance to have both was quite wonderful though and she wanted it more with each second that ticked by.

Before she got carried away with her thoughts she put on a serious expression as she let her hands fall away from him. "Okay, how do I look?"

"Like someone who is going to be in charge of a hospital."

She kissed his cheek and smiled at him, gearing herself to leave the comfort of the house. His belief in her showed how far they had come since their early days of knowing one another and she could feel herself wanting to sink back to bed with him on his day off.

Brushing his hand against hers, Ric spoke, "Call me when you get a chance later or if you hear anything."

"Yeah of course. I'm assuming on your end that will be to decide whether to make a celebratory or consolation meal." Through her smirk he could see she was nervous about the day's outcome but he had also seen her in the meetings that followed these blips in confidence. She could tuck that fear away and get what she wanted, regardless of whether certain members of the board were jealous because they hadn't been to bed with her.

"Good luck, Serena."


	15. Over the Phone

Ric could hear his mobile ringing from the other room and grimaced when he finally got to it. He had been expecting her to get in contact but knew it wouldn't be pretty.

As soon as he put it to his ear he heard her annoyance, "Why did I only find out through Henrik Hanssen?"

"Serena, I wanted-" He was cut off immediately by her voice.

"You never tell me when you're taking any of these breaks, the only time you did was when you were quitting it all that Christmas! And that was only for a bloody reference. We are supposed to be sharing a ward, now I'm suddenly landed with it on my own again." She couldn't believe she had not been consulted in any sort of manner before he was given permission to bugger off.

"That's because all these other times I know I'll be back to see you. Jess and Jacob have to be a focus in my life."

"I would still like to say 'goodbye' or 'what the hell are you playing at' occasionally. What if something were to happen to one of us and the last time we spoke wasn't the most pleasant? I know it hasn't been easy but I thought we are now supposed to be some kind of friends, Ric." Serena completely understood his reasoning; it was the absurd speed of it all that she found concern over.

He walked back through to the kitchen and turned the oven off that was still cooking his evening meal. "Are you at your house? Do you want me to come over and we can discuss this face to face?" He truly had tried to find her earlier in the afternoon - even before going to Hanssen - but she was never anywhere that he was.

She had lost her energy to fight as she rested her head on cushion behind her, "What's the point? It would only be you trying to placate me so as not to feel guilty while you're off on your jolly holiday." It wasn't that she wanted to lessen the importance of his journey but when she let her anger get the better of her she knew she was prone to be cruel.

"Serena, I want to see you before I go." She was one of the only people he cared about in this country and he knew it wasn't fair that he let her find out in other ways.

Pausing as she took a long drink of the red wine in her hand, she tried to think of some reason to refuse. "I'm at home." She wanted to see him too, it was as simple as that.

The idea of him going to the other side of the world without one last night of drinking and teasing, and just having his company, was worse than the irritation she could feel over this. She could bet Ric wouldn't have any idea how long he would be gone, unless he used his sabbatical and then made it easy for himself by staying for good. Although that was a thought she hated entertaining, she had too few friends that she couldn't bear him, especially not him, to never come back.


	16. Things You Didn't Say At All

Ric leaned back against the chair facing her, playing with the pen in his fingers as he spoke, "You and Angus Farrell then?"

He had been back a fortnight and Serena honestly believed that she had escaped his finding out. "Who told you? I thought that had all been nicely swept under the carpet."

The glee on his face was ridiculous in her opinion as he smiled across, "So I was never going to be allowed this pleasure?" It was rare for Serena's private life to travel so far even within the tight confines of the hospital and he wanted to bask in the switch of positions for them. He had chosen to take himself off the ward as soon as hearing about this so that he could see her squirm sooner and for longer.

Shaking her head she replied, "Nothing happened - we went on a couple of nice dates - there is no more to tell."

"Oh, but you and he, did you really consider it?" He had not believed it when he had been told about this brief encounter. In his eyes he had never seen any sort of spark and couldn't imagine the board member setting of anything resembling fireworks in the flirtatious woman he had become friends with.

She rested her head on her hand before determinedly gazing at him, hoping to end this discussion as abruptly as it started. "He was sweet, I wanted some fun."

"I've heard all about the fun you had together." Hearing that his theories on Angus ended up becoming truth was the icing on the cake of his return to this place.

Serena wondered who the gossip was spread by these days now that Mary-Clare was not on the scene. "Go away," she sighed, unable to refrain from smirking a little at the disastrous memories.

"After what I have endured from you about possible relationships, not a chance. This will be brought up with anyone who thinks you are good in bed - you couldn't even get the dullest of men excited." Her expression immediately turned to a glare which he enjoyed more than when she usually did as such.

"At least he wasn't younger than my offspring." That kiss had affected her more than she liked to think about and it was her favourite retaliation.

"Still younger than you."

"Not by much and even so I need someone to keep up which means I can't go older." The couple of years difference between herself and Angus had not even been a consideration if she were honest but she was not planning to lose this battle of wits.

"Keep up with cuddling on these nice dates? Well, I suppose that would be a challenge for guys that are, say, ten years older than you." His eyes were still twinkling with mirth as he teased.

"You know perfectly that cuddling was not what I was intending to do those evenings."

"Just keep in mind quality increases with age." He did not want to think about the implication of his words - never mind how he would respond if such an occasion announced itself - but they bounced back the retorts so easily it didn't feel serious.

"If I ever decide to trust that I know where to find Edward's number again in my phone." She said with a raise of her eyebrow, both of them aware he would be one of the lowest people of her list of people to sleep with - especially in her mind where good sex was concerned.

"I can't believe that during none of our calls you didn't want to make me laugh with the concept of you and Angus."

"You mean so that I could fall into this trap I now am in?" They continued this for the rest of the day, making a veiled comment whenever they passed on the ward, until they finally gave up and called a truce via a bottle of wine in the bar.


	17. With Too Many Miles Between Us

Waiting for the connection to load she removed her earrings and placed them beside her full wine glass.

She needed to see a familiar friendly face and the only alternative was Eleanor whom she didn't want to disturb while she settled into a new year of university. If this attempt didn't pay off with an answer then she would think about simply going to bed and postponing the humiliation until the following day when Essie asked how it had gone.

Ric smiled at the computer screen, taking note of the extra make-up he could see on her face before she realised he was there. They normally kept in touch by email and phone, video calling was not one of their regular methods but he was more than willing.

It was late in the UK and early for him although neither had a problem with spending this time as such.

Serena couldn't stop the wine calling to her for long after what she had experienced so gulped some down and glanced at him, "I got stood up on a date."

That explained the effort she had visibly done, "Sorry to hear that."

Shrugging in response she found the words to describe what she felt, "I don't really mind, it was basically a set-up with a locum. I'll leave you alone if you have to go, just had to make sure I do exist face-to-face with someone."

"You definitely exist, I can attest to that countless times over. I don't have anywhere to go for hours." Although it was morning for him he had been awake already for a while - Jake loved waking him instead of Jess if he needed a glass of water or something similar.

"How is the weather?" She was, for one of the rare times in her life, in the mood for all the irrelevant small talk.

"It's early springtime so still warmer than summer back where you are. Guess it isn't that nice in Holby?"

"We didn't even get a summer, I wish you had smuggled me over there."

He smirked, "You only had to ask and we could have left AAU to the rest of them."

"Now you tell me." She had been joking but the thought of the gorgeous weather and life he had for his time there was heavenly.

"I will treat you to a lovely meal the next time we're together." He promised sincerely, 

"When will that be though? - a month, six months, a year?" She was not angry - they had long since had the blazing rows about his disappearance - she was enjoying having a conversation too much.

"It's just a meal, Serena, not a marriage proposal. You can still date - or not date if tonight is anything to go by - before, during and after the night out. Even easier and more of a specific time frame, get a flight out here. I can take you to a brilliant little place round the corner which you would love."

"A full day of flying and the return journey for one dinner... There is something that sounds quite impulsively wonderful about that."

Ric nodded slightly before adding more to the idyllic dream - it would be a dream to him too just to have someone he knew and wasn't related to, and Serena was the best of any of those. "You could stay longer than one dinner, I might even be able to find a suitable man for you. And I miss your company."

"I miss yours too. I wish I could run away to your world."


	18. In the Grass and Under the Stars

The fifth of November held no massive significance to most adults but there was a bonfire and fireworks display that Ric was taking Jacob to on this night of Jess' fortnight long holiday. The park it was being held in was only a few minutes away from Serena's house so he was able to park outside there and had persuaded her to come with them.

It had taken a lot of effort on his side to get her in agreement but she seemed happy enough when she opened the door. "I'll be two seconds, I need to find some sort of cardigan. Jacob, if you drag your granddad through to the kitchen then there is crisps or sweets or whatever that you can eat or take with us to snack on."

The young boy's face lit up at the mention of sugar and he clutched Ric's hand as he practically bounced to the other room.

Five minutes later she returned downstairs with a dark shawl to cover the blouse she was wearing and put on ankle boots, whilst Jacob came through laden with treats.

Motioning to the bag being carried, Ric glanced over to Serena and said, "I'll pay you back for all this later."

"Don't be stupid, who else am I going to give it to and I'm certainly not eating it?"

Exiting her house they let Jacob walk a few steps ahead as they discussed their days and how Jess was. She had been living in Australia for over a year now and had found a satisfying job for herself and nice school for her son.

Keeping far enough away to be safe from the large pile of flaming wood that actually looked rather magnificent they found a spot on the busy field to stand. The sky was clear from clouds, allowing the stars to shine brightly above them as they waited for the first sparks.

Their silence that had befallen the trio was interrupted by thesmall voice in the middle of the two adults, "What's your favourite colour?" He asked as he looked up expectantly at Serena.

"Burgun-" She heard Ric sigh from the other side, "Fine, red."

Jacob nodded in fascination, entranced by the new person he was finding out about, "That's a good colour. Grandad Ric doesn't have one apparently but everyone has to have one, right?"

She leaned down until they were practically at eye-level with a smile, "I agree, he's a bit odd isn't he? What colour do you think he suits - purple, pink, yellow?" The co-conspirators giggled together as Ric shook his head.

"Mine is blue. I hope there's a red firework for you."

"I'm sure there will be a blue one too, oh it's about to begin I think."

Joining them closer to the grass Ric joined in the "ooh" and "ahh"s that was obligatory at a show like this. They pointed at all the different colours and types of fireworks, their smiles conveying exactly how they felt about this event.

Jacob moved to the other side of Serena as he offered some of his jelly sweets to a girl of the same age next to them. As they watched the children continue this adorable scene Ric touched his hand to the small of her back ever so gently, commenting for only her to hear, "I'm glad you're here."

Serena turned her head to face him properly whilst she nodded, moving a little nearer to his body, "Me too."

Although she had refused initially she had been planning to come up here before he had offered company. She had the evening off and it was a lovely atmosphere in previous years. Arguing with Ric had become so commonplace that is was a game that they would always play. The bonus of having a child with them to enjoy it with was that he truly was amazed by the whole spectacle which was great to watch. The company of each other though was too blissful to have been ignored or denied.


	19. That I Wish You Hadn't

Serena finally walked through to her living room where Ric was still sitting. He had opened his laptop so he was focused on that when she tried to make her mind up to join him on the couch or sit in the armchair. Instead of choosing she resorted to staying on her feet. At least that way she was able to pace around the room, meanwhile he was as settled as he could be - he was staying over as he frequently did, but at some point they would have to speak if they were to get over this.

It was an hour since any words had been exchanged between the couple after a stilted conversation after dinner which followed an off-hand admission. Knowing he wanted to work for a while she stayed in the kitchen, for once giving every available surface a thorough scrub down to avoid being in the same room.

After fidgeting and moving around ornaments on her shelves she moved across to the side of his seat. "Did you mean _that_?"

She did not have to expand upon what she was referring to, he had pinpointed exactly when the atmosphere had altered.

"I didn't intend to say it but yes, it is how I feel." Serena continued to stand staring at him for a moment before planting herself in the armchair. She dropped her face down to her hands, trying to get a hold of her thoughts about the development.

Running her fingers through her hair she looked up to see his eyes still on her - he probably thought she was having a breakdown or something similar.

Sighing she took a breath and eventually voiced the words which had put her on edge. "Why did you have to go and say you love me?"

"Because I do. If you aren't ready to say it back then that's okay. If you never want to say it then fine, we will cope without such." He replied, smiling softly as he shut his computer lid and put it on the coffee table at his side.

"It's not that, Ric, you saying that forced me to accept what we have is real and meaningful. We aren't just having some fun any more, this is big. This is the most I've had from a relationship in a hell of a long time." Their relationship had been growing and becoming more polished and suited to them but those words had never been uttered.

Ric shifted along the seat he was on until he was at the end closer to her. He managed to get down on to his knees in front of her and gently touched his hands to hers that were yet to move from her cheeks.

His fingertips swept along her cheekbones and down, resting on her shoulders as she kept looking downwards. He spoke again, his voice trying to soothe the obvious internal dilemma she was going through, "We take this as slowly as we both feel comfortable with. I won't pressure you into a single thing."

She looked at him, biting her bottom lip as she took in the facial features she had grown so accustomed to. "It means a lot that you would try to facilitate me like that. But I love you, I do. I want us to be serious and real; you had to give me the push though or else I'd hide behind the lighter side of it." She leaned in and put their foreheads together, revelling in the casual intimacy of the contact.

"Living without you saying that was simple - I could have carried on like that for a long time before I told you. I love you but this wasn't when I was going to say so; not for a very long time."

"I swear, Serena, I didn't mean to blurt it out tonight." He said, kissing her as he ignored the sharp pain that was beginning in his bent knees. His hands were on her thighs now whilst she pulled him closer. As this continued he straightened up before nudging her back in the chair so that he could join her, both mumbling the words over and over again as they grew increasingly more passionate.


	20. Too Quietly

"I'm sorry," She whispered, knowing she had overstepped the mark this time. There was no chance he had heard those words though as he stalked off.

Going after him would be the more sensible thing to do and it might be a quicker resolution, yet she stayed where she was. All she could do was stare at the area he had been taking up and wonder how it could have went any other way.

This hadn't even been her decision, she had fought against it but she was not the highest in the chain. Yet qlp he saw was her getting the job he knew how to do and wanted again. The hospital apparently couldn't afford another consultant so a review of ward management had obviously led to whether they were both needed in the one place.

She had grown used to leading AAU on her own that she'd have willingly took it on permanently by herself. She had told them this in the most convincing way she could. Keller was his domain, she understood his preference for it and believed he should be back there. Not her. He still hated AAU, the thought of him being alone down there didn't exist; she truly worried he would step down from the whole hospital if this went ahead. It was as if Hanssen and the board of directors were trying to drive a wedge between them, which made no sense as surely staff not talking would be worse?

The only benefit was that she had been allowed to tell him herself, he probably would have found some way to make this more painful. It also should have been made official long before he returned from Australia, he would have almost definitely quit but she thought it'd be fairer than him coming all the way back to be told a fortnight later this bombshell.

Ric wasn't going to talk to her for a long time after this, he had barely bothered to listen after he had heard the headline of her speech. They had spent so long becoming friends - to the point he would have been happy with her as CEO - but now she did think he would return to his old views on her. It was her fault because she had got the original job at Holby, she accepted why he had felt inadequate then, and his move to AAU had not been helped by her, however this time was not her doing or desire. She had no _choice_ but to be Keller lead from the following week.

Breaking her gaze away, Serena picked up her phone and scrolled down to his name. After ringing out the standard voicemail message started and she decided that it would maybe make him more likely to listen to her voice if it was just recorded not live. "Ric, please, hear me out. I wanted AAU, not Keller, believe me this is not my idea - I don't even know how to run upstairs single-handedly! Call me back so we can talk this over, I can't bear for them to do this to our friendship or you. I should have apologised straight away and it may not have changed how you feel right now but I am sorry."


	21. When We Were on Top of the World

Ric leaned over her shoulder, his arms wrapping around her waist as they looked out the tiny window at the world below. They weren't sure which country this plane was passing over but they liked seeing the difference land masses, if only because it gave them an excuse to be so close. Serena had obviously persuaded him that splashing out a bit more for business class was the only way she would get on an aeroplane, so the journey at least was more pleasant and had been an easy argument to avoid.

It was their first holiday as a couple if you excluded weekend getaways to British areas, and had taken them countless hours of discussion to reach ideas that both could tolerate. Packing and getting to the flight caused them to see new sides of their partner - not all positive facts either - but now they were en route it felt brilliant. Escaping the familiar places they had always known each other in made this special and was hopefully to be a time to forget work, although they were grateful to Holby or else they'd never have met.

Dropping the volume of her voice she turned her head and asked him, "Have you ever joined the Mile High Club?"

The elderly lady on his other side was thankfully asleep as he answered. "No, have you?"

She shrugged, a playful smirk appearing on her face. "Tried to after a holiday fling at 18 but it was far too uncomfortable and grim. He was pretty fit - rugby player if I recall correctly, few years older and wanted to have sex anywhere we went. Still managed to get him off before the flight was over though." She admitted, placing her hand on his thigh and slowly moving it towards his groin, "I never saw him again beyond the arrival gate, god I haven't thought about that in a while."

He removed her hand and shook his head in disbelief before interrupting her dreamy nostalgic gaze, "There is so much we still don't know about each other."

She rested her chin on his shoulder and continued, "If that Serena could see what she was going to settle for she wouldn't have believed it."

"I don't think you were that disappointed for 'settling' with me last night."

Shrugging with a nod, she replied, "True, younger me would be interested to know size and skill does improve overall experience."

He kissed her on the cheek, nuzzling into her neck as nobody was watching them. "Love doesn't enter that equation?" Ric asked while their fingers laced through the others'.

"Nope, all about the physical feelings," she muttered smiling against his lips.

"Well, at least I can satisfy those cravings of yours."

"Sure we can't join the Club just now?"

"Not a chance, the anticipation will make our first night abroad even better." Squeezing his hand and smirking, she put the side of her head on his shoulder and wondered if there was a possibility that she could waste some of the wait by sleeping.


	22. When We Met at a Gardening Centre

"Do you need some help?" It was rare for him to be in the garden centre but to bumping into someone he knew was even more of a surprise.

He had been watching Serena try to keep the trolley going in a straight line to the checkout for a couple of minutes. It was full of various trays of flowers, packs of soil and an outdoor heater and light.

She jumped at the voice and turned to see Ric, "I would love it."

Looking at the vast quantity of items she was buying he asked her in confusion, "You're not someone who enjoys gardening, what has changed?"

She sighed, "Absolutely nothing but I stupidly commented that I'd be happy to put on a garden party for the neighbours - not thinking any of them would actually hassle me until I came up with a date - and now I'm stuck with an empty garden. I don't want to know how much I'm spending getting things to put in."

"Have none of them saw your garden?" He had only been to her house once and couldn't recall more than a customary glance out the window.

"No, high fences and I think most are too intimidated by me to pass the front door."

"You can come along. It's on Saturday, please. They're an alright bunch but importantly there will be wine, food and a stressed-out me." She guessed the last point would be just the kind of amusement he enjoyed to watch.

"Do you want a hand planting all this and setting up the lights?"

Smiling at him before leaning over and placing another set of plants next to the young cashier who was attempting to hide their impatience over them chatting while she tried to serve. "I couldn't ask you to."

"You don't have to, I'm offering."

She took the container of weedkiller from his hands and put it on the conveyor belt next to a box of fairy-lights that she was going to put along the sides of the garden, "Put it in with my lot, £5 will not make any difference to my total here."

"Thank you."

He lifted up the heater to allow it to be scanned and Serena knew she'd be in his debt for a long time after this week.

When she had paid for it all and had exited the shop they were standing next to her car boot - fitting her goods in was harder than some operations they had performed together. "Are you busy now, we can have a glass or two at mine and try to plan what I do with all this?"

He looked across at her, nodding slightly, "I can do that. I'll just get a taxi back to my house later."

Neither of the pair realised that spending days together getting mucky and chatting about nonsense was going to make them closer than ever before. She hadn't thought about the party itself - considering it was for her street and he was not a houseowner there - and how they would explain his presence, although his being there meant she was nowhere near as out of control as expected. The tidy up afterwards had not even entered her mind yet when they were left alone once more it resulted in them putting truth to some of the rumours her neighbours had started about them...


	23. After It Was Over

He looked around Albie's and his eyes found Serena on a bar stool on the side they usually sat. Ric walked across to her as she got to her feet, and kissed her cheek. "I wasn't sure if you would actually come along."

"Ric, you're retiring, of course I'm here. I even wrapped up a bottle of your favourite malt and my favourite red wine so you can have the best of both." She said, pointing across to a table which was covered in gifts and cards for him.

"Thank you. I'll make sure they are put to good use, even if I don't have anyone to share it with. You are always good company for those evenings, I could do with the help." He said with a soft smile which she returned, both guessing which nighttime memories were passing through the other's heads.

Moving to a slightly different topic she slid back on to the chair as he did the same and asked, "What's your plan now then? Are you staying around here or going to be with Jess?" She knew his family came at the top of his priorities but she was going to miss him once he left the hospital this evening, never mind the country.

"Here. Jess and I have spent a lot of time in the other's company these past couple of years; she and Jake need their own space." He also wanted to take a break from the travelling himself, and he knew staying round here could allow for some professional opportunities not related wholly to Holby. It would give him a chance to begin a new chapter of his life.

Serena swirled around the liquid in the glass she was holding and smirked ironically, " _Space_? Isn't that the word we used when we called it a day?"

"I think it might have been." What they had until a couple of months before probably was not what could be termed a relationship but sleeping together and dating most evenings for four months was certainly more than casual fuck buddies.

"Why did we split?" Deep down she knew it had been destructive as it went on but she had not stopped thinking about it when she got back to her empty home.

"We couldn't handle being together all day and all night. Even during the breaks we tried to have it was too much or we'd somehow still end up together. And we were blaming the other for those nights and the arguments got worse every time."

"Our main issue was really because we worked together, ultimately we agreed it wasn't good for our work to be seeing each other in private... Do you think we'd manage it if we tried again after, I don't know, say, one of us retired?" She asked, finally catching eyes with him.

"Are you-" Just as he was about to confirm what he believed she was hinting at, he felt hands on his shoulders and a voice unknowingly interrupting.

Fletch was practically trying to drag him off the seat, "Come on, this is your party and you're not even joining the rest of us!"

"I'll be there in a minute," Ric stated harshly, not taking his eyes of Serena who was sheepishly drinking from her wine glass. They were left to themselves again once Fletch had ordered another round of shots for the rest of AAU, but weren't sure exactly what to say next.

Eventually Serena could not bear the silence any more - the music coming from the speakers was awful enough to want to speak over - so opened her mouth and admitted, "I never wanted us to break up but one would have killed the other had we continued the way we were."

He lowered his head in a brief nod. "I know that," Pausing, he smiled, "Our good days were brilliant though, I remember those. Are you serious about this?"

"Isn't it worth a try since we both seem to still be hung up thinking about each other? Maybe you being older will be an advantage for once." He laughed, having got used to ignoring her remarks about his age.

The seats were already placed close enough that they only had to lean in a little until they could feel the other breathing out against their skin. Their lips pressed together and they let the rest of their surroundings fade from their attention.

The guests who had noticed this event occur were in a shocked silence - nobody had been in on the secret of the pair sleeping with one another during that time - and nudging the others who joined the staring. A couple of them, who had drank more or were generally just the louder members of staff, were whistling their encouragement to which Serena broke off the kiss to glare at.

Resting his hand on her back he rolled his eyes at the comments that began to bombard them. "This better not be some convoluted plan so that you can get back that bottle of wine."

"You've not checked your presents - I didn't actually get you my drink of choice, it was always going to be me you got instead of that. I don't think I'll ever like anyone enough to relinquish that bottle." She said truthfully, both glad that she had managed to work her charm on him - she wasn't sure of it had been her intention all along but knowing he was staying nearby made something click inside her.


End file.
